Unspoken
by Moxie-Proxie
Summary: His voice melted through the sadness Jack had held onto all day. Much as he hated to admit it, he needed Nathan's strength right now.  AU, JackNathan


Nathan found Jack leaning against the back of his jeep. He'd taken the round-about way, hoping to catch Zoë before she left. The way Jack stood there, arms crossed and looking down the blank stretch of road, Nathan knew he was too late. Zoë had left to spend the summer months with her mother, as per the arrangement they'd all made when Abby had left the year before. Parking a few feet away, he slipped out of the car, slowly making his way closer. Watching in silence, as the man he loved wiped away tears, those red-rimmed eyes making his own burn.

"I should've prepared for this better." Jack swallowed, forced a laugh that held no humor.

"Honey ..."

"Not like I didn't know this was gonna to happen."

"Jack -"

"Don't," he said.

Nathan stopped when those blue eyes all but pinned him to the ground. Full of steady fury, underlined by loss that yanked at his heart. He felt all the things he'd wanted to say dissipate, as he watched tears build in those eyes, still too far away to do anything but watch them fall.

"Don't give me some snarky remark. 'Cause she left today and goddamn it, Nathan if you - if say anything smart about me losing her ..."

Nathan stopped walking, taking the blow Jack had unconsciously dealt, even as it threatened to rock him backwards. He thought they'd gotten past being enemies long ago, that Jack knew he was hurting just as much - even if he couldn't show it.

"You really think I'd say something to hurt you?" His jaw tightened, a mix of hurt and anger fighting for precedence. "You really think I'd say something shitty today?"

Jack had a hard time meeting those green eyes, he knew Nathan was right. He was trying to pick a fight, and Nathan was always the easiest target. The most vulnerable one, because after two years together, he'd dropped his guard completely and Jack was still trying to catch up. Nate loved them so hard - both Zoë and him - had been willing to lose so much for them, and it was too easy for Jack to mistake that open heart for a kill zone.

"I'm not here to fight with you, Jack."

Nathan closed the space between them, standing close enough for Jack to smell his cologne, feel the heat he always radiated - like a human furnace, Jack smiled at the flickering memory of kicking Nate out of bed this morning because he was roasting to death - look into his green eyes with those impossible lashes, that he could easily get lost in.

"I know." He sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Forgiven."

His voice melted through the sadness Jack had held onto all day. Much as he hated to admit it, he needed Nathan's strength right now. Needed to lean in, rest against the sturdiness of his husband's chest, feel the press of Nathan's body against his. Bury his face in the comforting crook of Nate's neck, getting wrapped in his arms. One broad hand, sliding under his leather jacket and massaging the small of his back.

"I just didn't think it'd be this hard ..."

"She's your baby, of course it's hard." He pulled back. "How long has she been gone?"

"Fifteen minutes."

"I'm sorry I missed saying goodbye."

He'd stood in her bedroom doorway this morning, watching her gather the last minute essentials, before heading out on the thirteen-hour drive to Abby's. Chatty as always, and stealing sips of his coffee while she moved around her room. He'd sat on her bed, feeling nervous and awkward. The house would be too quiet without her and he'd have no one to do sudoku with, and he wasn't simply wasn't Jack. Couldn't threaten to toss her over his shoulder, and lock her in the closet because he didn't want to share. Regretted not hugging her goodbye like he'd wanted to, because he was still trying to navigate where he fit in her life.

"She didn't want to bother you at work."

"She doesn't bother me," he said.

Resting his head on Nate's shoulder, Jack wrapped his arms around him. She hadn't even been gone an hour yet, and already his heart had a void. Why did he have to share?

"She'll be back." He said when Jack sighed. "It's only three months, summer break and then back for the school year. Trying to sneak out, and debating for tattoos in no time."

"Why does she sneak out?" Jack asked. "Not like she has to. I like hair boy."

"She's sixteen, it makes her feel normal." Nathan laughed softly. "And because you insist on calling him hair boy."

Jack merely smiled at the amusement bubbling in Nathan's tone.

"Would you make me get a CT, if I said I was gonna miss her scheming?"

"Absolutely." Nathan gently kissed him.

"'Kay, then I didn't say that."

"Of course not," he said. "It was funny when we found Lucas on the roof that night ..."

Jack laughed, his whole body shaking in Nathan's embrace. "Yeah, it was. I loved running after him with the baseball bat."

"Yes," Nathan said, his eyes twinkling, "you did. She almost got away with it too, except Sarah went on red alert."

"It's what she gets for trying to sneak him in through the skylight."

"You have to admit, she is quite the mastermind."

"That's one way to put it," Jack said. "When you popped out of the skylight, the look on his face was awesome."

"I did enjoy that." Nathan laughed.

Looking into his husband's beautiful green eyes, Jack kept smiling as the silence grew between them. He was sure Nate had a full schedule to deal with at Global - reinstated as a head of research with Allison, the two of them now managing it together - but instead of being there ordering underlings around, he was standing in the middle of the road holding him.

"You didn't have to come."

"I love you."

"And that explains clearing out your whole day?" Jack smiled.

"You needed me, so I came."

"I didn't ask ..."

"You didn't need to."

Holding him close again, Nathan could lean down and catch the familiar scent of Jack's leather jacket, last hint of body soap an a trace of Zoë's perfume. No doubt transferred in their last hug goodbye. His arms tightened around Jack, the scent made him miss her already.

"Nathan?"

"Hmm?"

"What if she stays? What if she doesn't want to come back?"

"She'll come back."

"But ... what if she doesn't?"

"We'll face that when - and if - it happens."

Though Nathan really didn't want to face it at all. He couldn't imagine his life without Zoë in it every day, he knew Jack would be lost without her - they all would.

"I'm gonna miss her. Random laundry, sneaky boyfriend an all."

Nathan sighed. "Me too. I should have told her that."

"She knew."

"Still ..." He trailed off. "Want me to take you home?"

"I can't leave the Jeep. Make Fargo come get the Beemer?"

"Trust him with my car? I think not."

Jack chuckled. "Meet you back at home?"

"Sounds good."

Nathan dropped a soft kiss on Jack's lips, and began to walk back to his car, when he felt cool fingers wrap around his wrist. Turned, saw Jack's smiling face as he was pressed to the back of the jeep, and tried not to appear as confused as he felt. But Jack arms sliding around him made his thoughts clear, those palms roaming up his back, fingers curling in his shirt before their mouths fused together.

The kiss was warm and sweet, Jack's tongue sweeping between his lips. Stroking the roof of his mouth, his face cradled in careful hands. His fingers threading into Jack's short hair, holding on and asking for more. Tracing Jack's bottom lip with the tip of his tongue, nipping at it while his free arm pulled Jack closer. Bodies flush and tight.

"What was that for?" Nathan fought to catch his breath, when they pulled apart.

"For being here, for taking the day off ..."

"How'd you know?"

"Allie called to ask if you were dying." Jack smiled.

"Because I took a day off?"

"It's you." He chuckled, brushing one last kiss against Nathan's mouth.

"And Allie's paranoid."

"That too ..." he said. "Race you home?"

"I'll beat you."

"Wanna bet?"

Nathan chuckled, somethings never changed, and apparently Jack's competitive streak failed to lay down and die, just because they now shared a bed.

"I win, you go surfing with me in the morning," Nathan said.

"An if I win, you're cooking me dinner tonight."

Jack slipped away and disappeared on the other side of his jeep, while Nathan ran to his car, unlocking the driver's side with the keyless entry. Just as he was about to slide into the front seat, he heard the mechanical whirr of a small motor. Something he'd become very familiar with in the past two years.

"Jack ..." He climbed back out, his arm resting on the polished hood of his BMW.

Turning around with keys in hand, Jack saw the glint of sunlight on metal at the end of the road, before he heard that soft buzz in the air. Zoë's little car - still looking more like a toy than a mode of transportation - zipping toward them. She stopped when they made eye contact, swung the door open and climbed out. With tear-stained cheeks, she ran toward him, her long blonde hair flying; and for a minute Jack didn't see her at sixteen and nearly grown. He saw her at four; covered in chicken pox and calamine lotion, miserable and only wanting her daddy. Resting in his arms, while he rocked her to sleep to some quiet song Abby had on the radio. Her blonde hair tumbling down his shoulder, trying not to itch under her Tinkerbell gown. Tiny, crabby and covered in polka dots. Perfect.

He wasn't sure how he wound up standing in the middle of the road, with her in his arms, but in the end it didn't matter. The way her arms wrapped around him tight enough to hurt, the fit of her head under his chin, beating of her heart against his. That's what he'd remember when she was gone.

"I just needed one more hug," she whispered into his jacket.

He didn't have the words to say, she could have as many as she wanted. Never had to ask. He drew it all in; the smell of her shampoo, feel of her warm damp face pressed into his neck, her hands that used to be so small resting against his shoulders. Because one day soon, he would blink and she'd be gone: college graduate, career woman, wife and mom. All of it much too soon.

"I love you, kiddo." He whispered, lifting her off the ground slightly. "You don't come back, I'm coming to California to track you down."

"Is that a threat?" She pulled back and smiled.

"It's a promise," Nathan said, his hand resting gently on her head.

"Not you too." She laughed and sniffled.

Nathan chuckled into her hair, as she burrowed into his chest, letting his arms wrap naturally around her. Closing his eyes when she squeezed, and feeling his heart throb at the thought of her leaving them. This brilliant young woman who he loved like his own, and even though he'd never say it out loud, who he was just as scared of losing.

"If you need anything, anything at all ..."

"I'll call Fargo."

"Cute." Nathan laughed. "I mean it though, we can come get you anytime -"

"She was my mom for sixteen years, I think she can handle me for three months, Dad."

"I know that." Jack did, and if he kept telling himself it, he might believe it by the day she came back from vacation. Might.

"Don't worry," she said. "I love California, but Eureka is always home. Here with both of you."

"And Lucas," Nathan said.

"Oh God," she pulled back. "Will you check on him? He's pinning. I tried to fix it but he's just ... hopeless."

"Afraid he might start shedding?" Jack snickered.

"Very funny," she rolled her brown eyes at him.

"We don't have to feed him, or take him for walks, do we?"

"Because you wanted this boyfriend ..." Nathan smiled.

"Oh for the love of - he's not a Labrador!"

Jack laughed, while she still held onto Nathan. "We'll reacquaint him with daylight periodically."

"Thank you." She shot him a look out of the corner of her brown eyes. Going from her father to Nathan, and back with a little smirk.

"I had a vocabulary before him, thank you very much!" Jack resisted stamping his foot, and caught the sound of his radio blaring from his truck. "Give me a hug, you snot. I have to go check that."

Grinning, she gave her father one last long hug and a kiss on the cheek, before he walked back to his jeep. Thumbs in his jean pockets, Nathan slowly walked her back to her car, his long legs eating up pavement.

"Call us if you stop anywhere."

"Don't let him mope while I'm gone."

"Avoid the main highways, they'll be full of summer traffic."

"Keep him away from the beer and cereal."

"Don't speed, wear your seat-belt, don't talk on your phone and drive."

"Get him out of the house, sleep in late, make him go surfing with you."

Nathan grinned as she stood at the door of her car again, looking up at him. Hair flying in her face, beautiful and far too grown up for his liking. Still, always worrying about Jack, no matter how she tried to act otherwise.

"I'll keep him in one piece until you get back, Zoë."

"Promise?"

"You need to ask?"

She paused, opening her door and answering before sliding inside.

"No." She smiled, and he carefully shut her door.

"Seat belt," he pointed as he stepped back.

With a grin, she fastened it and shifted the car back into gear as he walked back to Jack's jeep. Hands tucked into his jean pockets, as he watched her turn around the compact car.

"Hey dad," she stuck her head out the window. "I love you."

"I love you too." He grinned.

Jack came around the jeep, waving as his little girl drove away again. Sighing, he leaned his back against the hatch, head resting against Nathan's shoulder. Slipping his fingers under his belt, Nathan tugged Jack closer.

"She'll be back, you know?" He said, after a long silence.

"I know."

The "not soon enough" remained unspoken between them, as they watched her disappear down the road. Standing there until her taillights had long since faded away. Without a word, Nathan slipped his arm around Jack's waist, as they leaned against the back of the jeep. With Jack's shoulder pressed to his, they stood content, neither one ready to walk away.


End file.
